It’s… a bit funny.
Let me share to you honestly. When I went back from abroad, finished my master, with a good degree, some people looked at me as if I am the coolest person ever. Which is good. Well I do like it sometimes. :p Some people said that I become calmer, more mature, more confident, more success. Half true. And it’s okay. 😀 And more people said that it seems I enjoy my life abroad, that I’m so lucky to have my family with me all the time, and many more. I’m so thankful and feel so blessed. Alhamdulillah.
What they don’t see is the confusion in my head. About the crossroads I have now, for me to think and choose for my future. About the “I-don’t-know-what-to-do-now-or-next” which gnawing my heart all the time. And the “what-should-I-do” questions which keeps echoing in my head. All those times when I’m so scared. I don’t even share to my husband, nor my parents, nor everyone else. I keep it just for myself and share to Allah SWT when I pray.
But you know? I remain calm and I keep believe that everything’s gonna be okay. When I am praying, I asked the best way for me to be together with my family and for Allah to guide me to that way. Any way and I will go there without any doubt.
That’s why, I will not let anyone or anything took my happiness away
So here I am,
sitting down at my office,
doing things I can do for now,
while sipping a cup of coffee,
listening to music that makes me smile,
and watching my friends chatting and discussing things at work.
It’s beautiful, really.
To just sometimes sit down, rest your mind, rest your heart, just do and walk on your path slowly, and trust the rest to Allah. Because it’s okay. And I do believe everything will be okay, as always. Insha Allah.